The Emo Look/Self-Discovery

Song of the moment: Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional


Right now, I'm wearing my old black and red SC sweatshirt with my black Guess pants with curly brown/red hair and black emo make up. I'm pissed that I can't find my stupid digital camera, because I really want to take pictures of me pretending to be emo. Oh well, shit smells.

Anyways, I spent the whole week at Care's house. I must have gained at least ten pounds from the last five days, because her family eats breakfast lunch AND dinner. Full meals. I haven't eaten three full "actual" meals just from one day in five years. I usually eat one meal and stuff my face with junk food in random times of the day.

Other than the big change in my diet from the last 5 days, I spent my time getting to know Care and Jessica and other people from church. I'm finally beginning to find myself again and I'm starting to not be afraid to show my true self.... a comfort that is based around the environment of Christianity. I realised I was becoming a better person inside and out, and I also realised that I'm starting to like myself again. It's a great feeling.

Let's see... I started work yesterday. It was fun, but I was just too worried about messing up to be able to really enjoy it. I'm still being trained and I'm not sure when exactly my manager will let me help customers. But I know that the minute I start to warm up to the environment and the people, that I'll be the best job that I've ever had. Or at least, the funnest. The people seem nice, the work doesn't seem that hard--It's just hard for beginners who have to worry about memorising songs, rules, blah, blah, blah.

Fuck, I have to do an oral book review on Thursday and I'm only 1/8 done with my book. I switched my book review selection just last week from Voltaire's Candide to Yann Martel's Life of Pi. I'm sure I can finish Life of Pi in two days, it's just the matter of whether or not I'll remember to bring it with me everywhere I go. If I had only remembered to take it with me when I was at Care's house, I would be more than half-way through with it by now. Oh well, I can just bullshit my way through my oral presentation. I always do, and I always end up with an A. =)

What comes to mind when you hear..
..snow?:	white
..rain?:	comfort
..tornado?:	twisty
..summer love?:	short
..Jon?:	my brother?
..Mike?:	Lorraine's boyfriend
..Shea?:	wtf.
..banana?:	lip gloss
..dizzy?:	dead
..Laura?:	woods
..Juan?:	juanity
..car?:	need
..white?:	horse
..peppermint?:	patty
..New Found Glory?:	SUCK
..placebo?:	spit
..orange juice?:	orange julius
..candid camera?:	scary
..sister?:	fat
..brother?:	stupid
..hate?:	love
..school?:	lame
..President?:	lame
..football?:	lame
..rap?:	hippity hop
..pop?:	eh
..rock?:	emo
..punk?:	emo
..sex?:	emo
..death?:	emo
..baby?:	annoying
..duuude?:	wtf
..the end?:	good

The Survey Where You Say The First Word That Comes To Mind. Yay. brought to you by BZOINK!

--Your Favorite--
Hair Color::	Black or brown
Eye Color::	Black, brown, or green
(Their)Music Genre Preference::	Rock
Height(estimate)::	5'6 and above
Age::	17-20
Personality Type::	Layed back, good sense of humor, respectfull, daring, intelligent
--This or That--
Older or Younger::	Older.
Romantic or Horndog::	Romantic horndog.
Smart or Stupid::	Smart.
Fat or Skinny::	Skinny.
Skinny but Muscular or Big and Muscular::	Skinny but muscular.
Punk or Preppy::	Both.
The Big Picture or the Little Things::	Little things.
Flowers/Candy or Big Expensive Present::	Flowers/Candy. And cookies.
Mixtape or Burned CD::	Burned CD. Who still listens to tapes?
Love or Lust::	Love... I've had too much of lust. =\
Emotional or Just Not::	Occasionally emotional.
Sincere or Jokester::	Both. I can't stand the two extremes.
Hott and mean or Ugly and sweet::	Eww. I'd rather be alone.
Sexy or Just "cute"::	Just cute.
Arse or Abs::	Abs.
Hair or Hands::	HAIR.
Dimples or Eyes::	EYES.
Biceps or Calves/Thighs::	Ehhh............. doesn't matter.
Teeth or Nose(some people are just wierd) ::	I would prefer him to have both a full set of teeth and a nose.
Clean Shaven or Scruffy::	Clean shaven.
Rugged or Prim and Proper::	Both.
Countryboy or Cityboy:	Cityboy!
Date alone or With Friends:	Go out with friends, and spend time alone together afterwards.
Mama's Boy or Rebel Without A Cause::	A rebellious mama's boy.
--Have You Ever--
Dumped a guy because he liked you too much::	Eww, yes.
Loved a guy because he stalked you::	UH, NO. That'd be lame and a little too desperate.
Loved a guy because he hated you::	Why?
Asked your friend's crush out::	No...
Lead a guy on for kicks::	Eh. Yeah.
Asked a guy out purely because he was hott::	I've never asked a guy out.
Flirted with guys even though you had a boyfriend::	Hah. Yep.
Lied about not having a boyfriend::	Nah.
Lied about having one::	No.
Cheated::	No.
Been Cheated on::	Probably.
Had a crush on a gay guy::	YES! OMG ALL THE TIME. (not kidding... it happened at least four times)
--Their Clothing(yes/no)--
Boxers?::	Yes.
Briefs?::	Yes.
Hat?::	Depends on the hat.
Skater Shoes?::	Yes
Pimp Shoes?::	wtf no.
Band Shirts?::	Sure.
Vintage shirts?::	Yes.
Southpole/um..other thug clothes..?::	If he didn't act like a "thug", then it doesn't matter.
Dixie Outfitters/Big Johnsons?::	Sure.
Independent/DC?::	Yes.
Skavenger/UGP?::	wtf is that?
Fox/Thor?::	"ditto"
Jeans or Shorts?::	Sure.
--Be Honest--
Would you ever date a guy for his money?::	Fuck no. I dumped a guy once because he had too much money. Hah.
Would you ever date a guy for his social status?::	Never.
Have you ever liked hanging out with your bf's friends more than him?::	Maybe..
Have you ever pretended to like somebody to make them feel better?:	Yeah =\
Have you called a girl a whore, when you were screwing lots of guys?::	No.
Do looks matter?::	Sadly, yes.
Are you honestly scared of being dumped?::	Not really.
Does size matter?::	As long as he's not a midget.... or he's not some 8-foot giant or something.
Do you avoid 'situations' with ugly guys?::	Yeah. Who doesn't?
Are you ashamed to be seen with your ugly friends?::	wtf no.
Are you ashamed for being ashamed?(you better be)::	Who said I was ashamed?
Do you hide things from your crushes/guy friends/bf?::	I hide a lot of things.
Do you lie about masturbation for attention or false innocence?::	I don't think that subject has ever come up............ haha. I'm lying right now.
Do you really want a guy to say if those jeans make your butt look fat?::	Sure. Aren't big butts in these days? hah.
Are you dissapointed when your bf doesn't say I love you right away?::	Eww, no. I've actually NEVER said those words first. Ever.
Wanna be a virgin till marriage?:	HAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Do you really love the guys everytime that you say it?:	Noooooooooooo.
Do you dream about your crushes/bfs/guy friends?::	Yep.
Would you makeout with a guy friend just to get it over with/curiosity?::	Sure.
Does this survey suck nuts?:	Yes, yes it does. And I suck even more nuts for taking it.

Ultimate Opposite Sex Survey (for girls) brought to you by BZOINK!

Three things that scare me:
1:	Midget clowns.
2:	Showing all of weaknesses at once.
3:	Anyone in my family dying.
Three people who make me laugh:
1:	Robin
2:	Fat people who wear short shorts and mini skirts with skimpy tops aka KANKLES (fatty freshman girl from school)
3:	Anyone with a heavy FOB accent
Three Things I love:
1:	My friends who I can rely on and are like family.
2:	Staying inside and curling up with a good book while there's a huge, windy storm outside.
3:	Changing my look, personality, and behavior.
Three Things I hate:
1:	Stupid people.
2:	Smelly people.
3:	Man boobs.
Three things I don't understand:
1:	Why some people choose not to take showers and insist on torturing people around them.
2:	How people can stand being in lond term relationships without getting bored.
3:	Why I decided to stay another year in high school when I could have easily graduated early.
Three things on my desk:
1:	An empty bowl with some left-over rice and a big spoon.
2:	The phone.
3:	A calculator.
Three things I'm doing right now:
1:	Typing.
2:	Thinking about how my stomach is hurting and how I desperately need a drink of water.
3:	Watching COPs.
Three things I want to do before I die:
1:	Travel around the world.
2:	Start my own band.
3:	Be a famous actress/singer/porn star--I mean, independant film star. *cough*
Three things I can do:
1:	Adapt to different situations and make people around me comfortable if not scared for their lives.
2:	Procrastinate until the last minute on homework/other school related things and still get an A.
3:	Talk myself into thinking I'm something that I'm obviously not. (too much confidence?)
Three ways to describe my personality:
1:	Unpredictable.
2:	Unstable.
3:	Unchangeable.
Three things I can't do:
1:	Be on stage in front of a group of professional actors and directors and cold-read without my knees shaking to a point where I trip and fall to the ground.
2:	Do homework the minute I get home.
3:	Not laugh at wierd/serious situations.

Three Things brought to you by BZOINK!


Okay.... I'm doing ONE MORE and then I'm going to sleep.

Free movies for a year or free CDS for your life?:	Free CDs for life! I get free movies anyways. Hehe.
School or work?:	Work.
Christmas or birthday?:	Christmas! The holidays last longer and have more joyful spirit than a single day of birth-celebration and what-not.
Peanut Butter M&MS,Regular M&Ms, or Peanut M&MS?:	PEANUT BUTTER!
Dozen Roses or 3 boxes of chochlate?:	CHOCOLATE.
Sandra Bullock or Julia Roberts?:	Sandra Bullock. Julia Roberts sucks monkey balls.
Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise?:	They're both ugly, but if I had to pick, Brad Pitt--only because I like his layed-back style.
Vanilla Pepsi or Vanilla coke?:	Both suck.
American Eagle or Abercromie and Fitch?:	Ditto.
Driving or flying?:	Flying.
Roller skating or ice skating?:	Ice skating.
Apples or oranges?:	Apples.
Paris, France or Florence, Italy?:	ITALY!
Punk'D or The Newlyweds?:	Punk'D. Jessica Simpson annoys the shizzles out of me.
Jay Leno or David Letterman?:	Conan O'Brien.
New York or LA?:	NEW YOOOOOOOOOOORK!
AOL messenger or MSN messenger?:	Both suck, but since I use AIM, I guess I have to go with that...
Jennifer Aniston/Brad Pitt or J.LO/Ben Affleck?:	J-lo sucks and Ben Affleck is ugly. So I pick Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt.
Ralph Lauren or Tommy Hilfiger?:	Ralph Lauren. Stupid Hilfiger's a racsit bastard.
leaf raking or snow shoveling?:	Leaf raking! It's fun to jump on/over the leaves when you're done.
black pen or blue pen?:	Black pen.
WalMart or Target?:	I've never been to a WalMart, and I think I went to Target once when I was 11.
picnic under the stars or horse carriage in the park?:	Any choice that has food in it has my vote.
chochlate chip cookies or peanut butter cookies?:	Oohhh.... tough one... I would have to say, PEANUT BUTTER!
Kobe Bryant or Shaq?:	Let's see.... Pedophile womanizer or giant who has a lazy eye and is as ugly as a hippo's ass.... let me think.
basketball, baseball, or football?:	BASKETBALL.
Hiliary Duff (Lizzie Mcguire) Or Lindsey Logan(Freaky Friday)?:	Who the fuck is "Lindsey Logan"?
French fries,curly fries, or tator tots?:	Curly fries.
Ben Affleck or Matt Damon?:	Neither.
Phoebe, Monica, or Rachel(off of FRIENDS)?:	Phoebe!

Chose between... brought to you by BZOINK!